Being out here on my own, has given me a lot of time for contemplation. I have the chance to really get to know myself, and see what I like, and what I need to to change. Something that I would tell the girls in the rehab, was that at the end of the day; all they had was themselves and then I would ask, if they were happy with who they were? I now am asking myself that same question. There are some big ol' flaws, but I know God is helping me to mold into a servant of Him.
The other day I was people watching, and even though there were "friends" and people everywhere, that person you could tell felt alone. I do believe that we can often choose our own feelings. We create our atmosphere. There are times that I hardly talk to anyone at all. So who is more "alone". Of course there are plenty of times that I have felt lonely out here. The other night I had this feeling, and then I was reminded of that old church song "You're not Alone" - and it is true. We are never alone. We may become lonely, but we are never alone. And the amount of people surrounding you isn't what makes the difference. Having more time be myself, has actually taught me that principle.
I was talking to a friend of mine that I was blessed to teach on my mission. He has struggled making the transition in the full lifestyle of the LDS faith. I received a text from him saying he wanted to start coming back to church. I immediately called him, and we chatted for awhile. He said even though everything was going well in his life, He said he wasn't happy, because something was missing, and he thought this was probably it.
Putting these two thoughts together, it just made me grateful that I have a loving Heavenly Father that knows each of our needs. The spirit is real, and it can remind us that we are never alone - or- it can remind us what will bring true happiness.
I was reminded of this in an awesome and simple way with conference. Just a few weeks before General Conference, I was reading a talk by President Packer from last April. He spoke of how we should not refer to ourselves or the church as Mormon. It did bother me a little about the whole Mormon.org missionary effort. The two didn't seem to correlate. Low and behold, Elder Ballard spoke on just that, and made it quit clear how the two ideas could exist. I couldn't help but smile and laugh. God knows all of our questions.
Two weeks ago, I spoke in sacrament meeting, and the topic was following the promptings of the spirit. I immediately thought of a mantra I adopted on my mission that I learned from a family in my first area. GO SAY BE DO. It comes from the hymn, "I'll go where you want me to go." Simply put, when the Lord calls, We Go, We Say, We Be, and We Do what the Lord would have us. It's not always easy, but we are never alone.
D&C 84: 88 And whoso areceiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go bbefore your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my cSpirit shall be in your hearts, and mine dangels round about you, to bear you up.
I don't mean to be so preachy and sentimental in all of my posts, but sometimes, I can't seem to help wanting to shout from the rooftops; the good news of the gospel. Despite our trials, life is always good, because we have the restored gospel on the earth, a living prophet, and knowledge of who we are!